Here are some possibilities:
That half priced sushi I bought at the quickie mart was a bad idea.
Damn it, I forgot the pork rinds.
I’ve got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey.
Was his name Billy Bob or Bobby Bill?
Did he wear protection last night?
What the hell is Gonorrhea anyway, wasn’t she on Saturday Night Live?
Why does it burn when I pee?
Oh crap, did I leave the BBQ grill on in the house.
It’s all because of Obamacare and those bleeding heart commie liberals.
That toilet paper was like John Wayne, it doesn’t take shit off nobody.
This rash is killing me.
This duct tape bra chafes.
I should have worn a tube top.
My shins need a tan.
What was I thinking, this shiny purple purse with big silver rodeo buckles doesn’t match my black Walmart sneakers.
How was I supposed to know he was my cousin?
Budweiser gives me gas.
Boy howdy I should have worn underwear.
I wonder why we say “a pair of pants” when there is only one of them. Shouldn’t it be “a pant”?
Why is pubic hair curly?
I can’t believe that professional wrestling is fake.
Do farts have lumps?
The answer to the question, What is this femullet thinking…….. is
Man, my foot itches.